So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
