alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
