don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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