If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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