I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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