I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
