I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
