with your own penis?
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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