Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
