Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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