Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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