She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
