Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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