I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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