i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need water and some morals
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
