i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
