Buhtt sex?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize