At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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