I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
