I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
