She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i black out too much to be "responsible"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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