You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
