Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This is the high leading the old right now
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge