I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought