we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My vagina just clenched in fear
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
