just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
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If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.