I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.