He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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