there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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