I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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