You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
