You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
