She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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