my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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