Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
