You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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