All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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