I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
