Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
