We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
