i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
well you can't waste a boner
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize