Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My vagina is very pro this idea
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
