dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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