Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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