How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
