allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
