I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We're too hungover to prance.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i out mim tonsoeep
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