thus making me awesome and them whores
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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