Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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