some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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