The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
