Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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