Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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