no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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