Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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