I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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