is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
