her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
