Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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