oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
