Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
