this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
